Michael's Blog

Stupid, funny things.

02 March 2005

Fortune Cookies

I love fortune cookies. They are so fun and sweet. Most of the time they give you something wonderful to think about or hope for. The highlight of every Chinese meal is the fortune cookie. The cookie usually comes with the bill. A ploy to give you a warm fuzzy feeling right before you see damage. I don't mind that though. FORTUNE COOKIES ARE GOOD.

One day I was especially looking forward to a good fortune. I have to say that nowadays there are a lot of fortunes that just don't cut it. I mean they say something but it isn't really that special. Sometimes they are better than other times. Sometimes it is (Everything in your whole life will work out for your good) and that's a good one. But other times, it is like (don't gossip). So this day I was really hoping for a good one. While I was eating my meal, I was wondering what it would be. Would I get a lame one or would I get (You will meet the love your life) or a (Love is right around the corner) or a (You will gain all of your desires). I ate slowly, enjoying my food and filling up nicely. When the cookies and the bill came. I anxiously picked mine out.

I slowly pop the wrapper and proceed to extract my cookie from the plastic. I get it and proceed to crack the cookie in half and extract the two inch paper. What do I find...


No Paper at all. What kind of fortune is that? What are the fortune cookie gods trying to tell me?

I thought about that a lot. For weeks it bothered me. Finally, I decided to give it another chance and I ventured to my favorite Chinese buffet. I ate slowly. I figured later that the odds of getting two cookies without fortunes would be almost impossible. This thought relieved some of the stress.

After the meal, I opened my cookie. I couldn't believe it. I had received the mother of all fortunes. It was the one I had always hope for. I would repeat the words but they were just too sacred. All I can say is that it was the best fortune I had ever received.

I was so happy that I thought I needed to take the fortune home and frame it or something. I thought maybe I could scan it and put it on the site so everyone could see my good fortune. So I set it on the table and started to flatten out the bends. I began to stroke it with my two index fingers from the middle to the end of the fortune, (Reading it over and over as I petted it.) trying to make it as flat as possible.


"Oh Crap! What are the evil fortune cookie gods trying to tell me now?"


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